My husband and I were supposed to attend a formal event for charity this weekend in my hometown. I have looked forward to this event for months but I decided at the last minute, I wasn’t going. I am (well, was) a member of the charity organization and this was a mandatory event for all of the members but I just couldn’t force myself to go. Read below for a list of reasons that led to my decision:
I started Letrozole this week and I have had allllll the side effects (mood swings, nausea, dizzy spells, hot flashes, and weight gain). I rented 4 dresses for the formal event and I was horrified to realize 3 weeks later, none of them fit.
I have developed a (terrible) habit of taking the tweezers to my chin and neck and plucking every little black hair I can see/feel. I have always plucked these hairs but usually I wait until I can see them (which usually means they are long enough to pluck). Lately, I have started plucking them when I feel the coarse hair and this has led to me digging and picking at my face for hours. Which has also lead to scabs and scars all over my face. I have picked and plucked so hard that I have caused bruising in some places on my chin. It seems like the hair on my face is starting to double. My husband asked me last night what was on my face that was causing me to pick at it and I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was black facial hair. I would imagine he would be horrified to know his wife is growing a damn beard.
Last week, I was trying on a v neck top in the dressing room of target, when I noticed a trail of black hair right down the middle of my chest (I may or may not have had a complete break down in the target dressing room). Of course, I instantly started picking and plucking, which means there are bumps and scabs all over my chest right now too.
Letrozole side effects+facial hair+chest hair+break outs on your face+break outs on your chest=the most unattractive I have felt in my entire life.
I know my friends are upset that I decided not to attend the event (which also meant resigning from the charity organization since it was a mandatory event) but I couldn’t force myself to attend any event that requires me to put on more than sweat pants right now. I wish I could explain to them why I decided not to attend but that would mean revealing my TTC secret and I am not ready for that right now. One day, I will be able to explain it to them but I just can’t do that right now.
“We must understand that sadness is an ocean, and sometimes we drown, while other days we are forced to swim.”